喜剧小品:优妹汉哥(第一集)

【新唐人2010年1月1日讯】优妹妹汉哥哥

Funny Sis & Silly Bro

一群时潮的新人男女
A group of trendy people
执着﹕
Their life pursuit:
侃个痛快
Chat with pleasure
笑个开心
Laugh with passion
活的自在
Live for today

第一集
Episode 1

强拆气煞中南海

Forced deconstruction enrages Zhongnanhai Office

奥巴马要给全球退党服务中心发新年贺辞的传闻﹐迅速在全国传开

元旦前夜﹐中共高层在中南海召开紧急会议
President Obama is going to send New Year greetings to Global Service Center for Quitting the Chinese Communist Party. The news is rapidly spread around China at New Year’s Eve and the CCP high-level officials are having an emergency conference in Zhongnanhai Complex over this issue.

秘书﹕Secretary:
奥巴马要给退党办发新年贺电
Obama is going to send New Year greetings to Global Service Center for Quitting the

Chinese Communist Party
欧洲政要也要发贺电
And so are the European governments
我们怎么办”?
What should we do?

中宣部长﹕
Minister of Central Bureau of Promotion:
封杀,封杀,封杀
Shut it out, shut it out, shut it out

公安部长﹕
Minister of Public Security:
所有退党的统统抓
Arrest all those who quit the party.

司法部长﹕
Minister of Justice:
判 重重的判
Give them heavy sentences

胡总﹕
President Hu:
蠢,蠢,蠢!你们真的以为我和江一样愚蠢吗
Stupid, stupid, stupid! You think I am as big an imbecile as Jiang?
嗨!真是弱智
Sigh! It’s retarded
现眼都现到国际法庭上去了
Lose his face in International Court.
看看你们各个这个德行
Look at yourself…
这点事就沉不住气了
Being so jumpy over this small issue

温总﹕
Prime Minister Wen:
再这样退下去
If more people quit the party
可能就剩下我们这几个人了
There will be only a handful of us.
你们几个部长都在
Now the ministers are here
你们看着办吧
You guys think about what to do!

中宣部长﹕
Minister of Public Security:

我有一个主意
I got an idea
让金正日出面
Let Kim Jong-il do the job
宣布试射飞弹
Make an announcement of missile trial
这奥巴马最头痛的就是他
He is the biggest pain to Obama

公安部长﹕
Minister of Public Security:
我倒有个主意
I got an idea too
跟本拉登联系一下
Call Bin-laden
如果奥巴马给发贺电
If Obama sends the greetings
我们花一点钱
We pay Bin-laden
在纽约给他放几个人肉炸弹下去
Tell him to drop some human bombs in New York

温总﹕
Prime Minister Wen:
司法部
Ministry of Justice

没了主意的司法部长
The Minister of Justice has no idea
冒出了一身冷汗
He is sweating
这时 县城管大队长
Now an officer of county government
司法部长的远房小舅子
A brother-in-law of the minister
酒后兴起
has been drinking
打通了他的手提
He is calling the minister’s cell phone
借着醉意
and faking drunk
以出谋划策为由
Trying to take advantage of the ideas he comes up with
打听自己的调职事宜
To pry into the matter of his promotion
秘书﹕
Secretary:
给来点好主意 好
Okay, tell us what you got

温总﹕
Prime Minister Wen:
什么主意 说吧
Name it, what is that?

城管﹕
Officer:
二 二姐夫
My brother-in-law
你啥时候给俺调省里
When will you promote me to the provincial office?
这里太他娘的穷了
People are very poor here
一电油水都没有
I can’t make any fortune

公安部长﹕
Minister of Public Security:
手下全是七大姑八大姨的
All staff are relatives

秘书﹕
Secretary:
少胡说八道
Stop talking rubbish
说正经事
Be serious

城管﹕
Officer:
噢 二姐夫您别急
Oh, my bro, don’t worry
俺现在就告诉你绝招
Let me give you good advice
第一:调集俺县的强拆队进入美国
First idea: I can summon the deconstruction team in my county and send them to America
只要二表姐夫一句话,几个小时之内就
My brother, just give me an order, within several hours
让白宫片瓦不存
We can raze the White House to the ground
第二:俺们县里到处都是神偷手
Second idea: We have so many expert thieves in my county
如果奥巴马那小子不听话
If Obama doesn’t listen to us
元旦夜先给他们曼哈蛋水晶球摘下来
We steal the new year’s eve ball from Manhattan
过元旦
Celebrating the New Year’s Eve?
让他们过鸟蛋吧
Now they have nothing to celebrate
怎么样,二姐夫
What do you think, my bro?

司法部长﹕
Minister of Justice:
不要说废话
No talking rubbish
说正事
Say something serious
中央 领导都在听
All leaders of Central Committee are listening

城管﹕
Officer:
中央
The Central?
中央个鸟
The Central is rubbish
二姐夫您就是中央
You are the Central
其他人都是鸟
All of them are rubbish
哈哈哈
Ha…ha…ha…
怎么样
So what!
二姐夫
Hey my bro…

众﹕
All people:
总书记 总书记
President, President
城管﹕
Officer
二姐夫 二姐夫
Brother, brother

“优妹汉哥”制作组
Funny Sis & Silly Bro Production Team

祝观众
新年快乐
Wish you Happy New Year

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