禮節美語224: Body Language (2)

【新唐人2012年11月09日訊】 (美国之音電)

公司主管Andy請專門研究肢體語言的諮詢顧問Monica給公司銷售員上課。Andy說,站姿和握手都很重要。握手要緊握,同時注視對方的眼睛。Sara提問說:

S: As a woman I find that I sometimes don’t get a good reaction from my handshakes.What am I doing wrong?

M: A woman naturally has a weaker grip than a man. I suggest you go ahead and use a little bit more force. That way, you’ll be noticed and taken more seriously.

A: And of course as a salesperson smiling is very important.

M: Oh yes, but it’s not just a smile….your entire face needs to light up, and you should remember to flash your teeth when you smile every now and then as it shows sincerity.

Sara說她跟客戶握手好像從來都得不到甚麼強烈的反映,Monica建議她下次握手稍微用點勁,因為女性天生 has a weaker grip 握手的力量比較弱,握手有力才會讓別人重視你,把你當真。除了站姿和握手外,面帶微笑也很重要,而且 your entire face needs to light up 整個面目表情看起來都要很高興,時不時還要露出牙齒微笑 flash your teeth,這樣會顯得更真誠。

J: What should I do with my hands when I’m talking to someone? My natural instinct is to make gestures.

M: Gestures are fine….just don’t overdo it. One easy thing to remember is called “mirroring" and basically it means you “mirror" or imitate the actions of the other person.

J: So if the other person is more animated you should be a bit livelier as well?

M: Exactly. But, never raise your hands higher than your chin when you gesture as this can look threatening.

S: Should I nod my head while I’m listening to another person speak?

M: Absolutely. It makes people feel that you’re listening, and that you agree. You can also slightly tilt your head to one side when listening as this indicates non-aggressive behavior.

Monica說,跟別人交談時可以做些手勢,但 don’t overdo it. 不要做過頭。她還教給大家一種技巧,叫 “mirroring", 就是鏡子 mirror 的後面加上 ing, 意思是跟對方學,如果對方說話眉飛色舞,你就也誇張一些﹔如果對方比較沉穩低調,你也要稍微穩重點,但要注意,never raise your hands higher than your chin. 做手勢的時候,手千萬不要高過下巴,因為這會讓別人感覺威脅。聽別人講話還可以頻頻點頭,讓別人感覺你聽得很認真。

A: Different cultures have different ideas about personal space. If the person seems to be moving away from you when you speak, maybe you are too close and they feel like you’re invading their space.

M: That’s true. You have to find what works for the individual based on their culture and your level of familiarity. Now I want you to experiment with the things I’ve taught you today and we will get back together and discuss how it’s working out for you.

S: Great!

J: Thanks for stopping by, Monica.

M: You’re very welcome.

Andy補充說,不同文化對 personal space 個人空間的定義也不一樣,如果跟你講話的人好像一直在往後移,那就表示,他們覺得你離得太近了,換句話說,You’re invading their space. 這跟文化和彼此之間的熟悉程度都有關。培訓結束前,Monica要大家回去把今天學到的東西付諸實踐,下次見面時再繼續討論。

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